What is your Drama Quotient? or Threshold?

Does this remind you of anyone or anything?

I am noticing that how someone reacts to stress in their daily life sets up what I am calling a DRAMA Quotient or a THRESHOLD for Drama. Some people are naturally more excitable than others. Others are good at putting a "damper" on things. Some are drama magnets who always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I came by drama naturally in my family.

In my house growing up...my father would blow up and create a scene. Get really really loud and obstinate. He was over 6 ft tall so so a little girl he was HUGE!

Experiencing this from a young age meant that my tolerance to drama would be one of two things...either way less than most people causing me to avoid it at all costs or I would get really good at letting it wash over me and make it okay. Little did I know that this response would open the door for more drama to visit in my life.

There were times that I would tip toe away from the drama and other times that I would rail against it. A good portion of my adult life I would just avoid any topic and conversations with and around dad that could lead to unwanted drama. I mean, you just couldn't win anyway with someone who always thought that he was right even if he didn't have any factual basis behind his bias, his accusation, or complaint.

It was his way or the highway most of the time. Children should be seen but not heard he would say. As a result, I lost my voice for a very long time. I didn't really find it again until I got divorced and started taking self help seminars. Then, my voice was uncovered and I found that what I had to share was really helping others all around me.

Imagine going from so shy that you couldn't talk to yourself to being able to speak on stages with over 600 people in the audience. Self-help seminars helped literally free me but it still took me some time to realize how drama and my tolerance for it was still affecting my life.

What is your Drama Quotient? On a scale of 1 to 10. What do you think it might be?

0 is ...that your life is so regimented and controlled that not even you have freedom to operate. And 10 is so out of control that you have crises show up every day.

I believe that fluctuating between a 3 to a 4 is super-healthy. Occasionally you will be thrown a 10 or a 7 and that's life but you don't want to operate at a consistent level 7 to 10 or you will get burnt out. Your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health will be impacted for sure. You can set up your life to have things run well. Avoid crises. Prevent accidents and yes even flat tires.

I used to say: Let's pray for a boring day because that's what a day without drama would feel like to someone who had a dramatic father. Yes to some people a steady diet of drama, a day with no drama would feel like "A boring day".

A constant diet of drama will wear out your adrenal glands as they get overworked by keeping you in fight or flight modes to deal with stress.

In the beginning of my diet from drama, I wasn't sure that it was even possible to give up drama and prevent it. But, I found so many benefits that it does get easier.

You will get better at recognizing drama before it sneaks up on you again.

Tip: One very very huge component of letting go of drama is in being super-responsible at choosing people to date who are lower on the drama scale too. Are they only one week into drug rehab recovery? That would be a 10 in the drama scale. Stay away from people who are early in their recovery over anything, no matter how much you believe in their potential. You aren't qualified to deal with their natural ups and downs and many relapses. Are they newly in AA? They shouldn't even be looking to have a relationship in the first year of recovery. You will get sucked into their highs and lows if you let yourself get involved. There are plenty of people to date and love that aren't dealing with those types of issues.

Are they or you just out of a divorce or going through the divorce? Well, there will be drama for sure during that period, especially if they have children. Divorce drama is a little less dangerous to go through than addiction/recovery drama.

I am working on a test so that people can get a sense of what their real drama quotient is and how it impacts the quality of their life. Check back often to see if it's done.

Look for a blog soon about fighting styles and how they increase or decrease drama. Going for less drama in your relationships means healthier relationships. More fulfilling relationships. Less wear and tear on your heart, your emotions, and your psyche. Your life will fill up with possibilities rather than be interrupted by nonsensical fights that go nowhere except downhill. Keep Smiling!

* Definition of Threshold in the way I am using it here: the point at which a physiological or psychological effect begins to be produced <has a high threshold for pain>

What is your Drama Quotient? or Threshold?

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